I've always thought of myself. I was going to say "as an egotist," but in all honesty the period fit just as easily much earlier in my intended sentence. When something happens, I apply it to myself. It makes it very hard to make a convincing argument of innocence when deep down I believe I could have done whatever crime is being discussed.

So, for instance, in a conversation like this:

Accuser: Did you hot glue the cat's tail to the dog?

Me: (Grinning because that's the kind of idiot I am) No.

A: (Misinterpretting the grin) Tell me the truth.

M: (Grinning even broader at the scene, realizing I'm only making things worse. I find this funny) No, really.

A: (Reading all the obvious clues of guilt) I can't believe you'd do that.

See.

So last night I met with my therapist to discuss a weight of problems that aren't mine, but that I have pulled onto myself because they are affecting friends and family. In the last month I have been hit with illnesses, agoraphobia, alcoholism, emotional and physical distance, and even what I fear is a form of child abuse/neglect. Friends and family confess these problems to me, and I'm unable to just listen and offer advice.

I make their problems my own. I must find a cure for their woes or I have failed.

How egotistical is that, I asked my therapist.

To my astonishment, she said it wasn't at all.

"Your problem is you care," she said.

"Uh,"

"Too much," she added quickly. "You are not responsible for these things. Caring and wanting to help dhat doesn't make you an egotist. You just have to understand that you are not the answer to everyone's problems."

"Uh,"

"You're not."

"But," I said.

"No."