I've decided to adopt a new philosophy regarding this particular waste of time. From now on, I am going to write my journal entries as historical fiction. These are the things that might have happened were I directing my own life.

Today I was mugged.

I was just minding my own business when a dark voice spoke from behind and demanded my wallet. I know you're supposed to just give up your stuff in this situation, but my would-be attacker didn't figure on me having a pocket time machine.

Long story short, he's now a successful playwrite living in New York, and I still have my wallet.